It hurts that he doesn’t notice me. I try so hard. And the sad part is…is that he won’t notice. He won’t notice that I make sure I’m the last person in class so he looks at me when I walk past his desk. He won’t notice that I wear my cutest clothes to impress him. He won’t notice that every time he looks at me my heart starts racing and sometimes its hard to breath. He won’t notice that I ask him what the homework is about once a week, even though I know exactly what it is; I just want to hear his voice and have the satisfaction of knowing that he actually picked up his phone when he saw my name flash up. I try to tell myself that it’s just not meant to be and that there’s a reason for everything. It’s just difficult to get over that. I almost don’t want to stop trying to impress him, because deep down I know he likes me. Deep deep down he feels how I feel, but he’s really good at covering up his feelings. I tell myself this because it helps me cope, cope with the fact that he really doesn’t care about me. Because if he did he would be bending over backwards to please me. But this is just a silly high school crush, I’ll move on with my life without him. I don’t need him. I just want him.
Alright. I get it. You’re over me, even though you never really were into me. I realize that you’ve caused myself a lot of pain and tears, but in the end I think it was worth it. As hard as it is for me to admit this to myself and to the world, I am stronger because of this. I don’t need to wait around at your feet and waste my precious time drooling over you. I don’t want to worry and make sure that every move I make pleases you. It’s going to take some getting used to and it’s gonna take time. I am independent and God did not make me to prance around and hope I don’t do something wrong to upset one
asshole sweetheart. Of course I’ll remain friends with you, that’s how everything should end. No battle wounds or damage, but just how we began. Young, naive, and hormonal.